The 9 Levers / Inner
1 Calm Is Power
Stay calm. Act on advantage, never on emotion.
The person who loses their temper loses the room. A calm face and a slow voice tell everyone you are in control. Say less than you want to; silence makes others fill the gap.
Built from: The 48 Laws of Power; The Laws of Human Nature; The 33 Strategies of War; The Art of War; Never Split the Difference; The Charisma Myth; King, Warrior, Magician, Lover; The Fine Art Of Small Talk.
Train this lever
- Frame Control: Who Sets the Terms of the ConversationFrame control is deciding what a conversation is about before it starts. How to hold your frame calmly, spot a rival's, and keep it honest.
- How to Be Confident Around Someone You Like (No Tricks)Nerves around a person you like are normal. Five honest steps to stay present, warm and yourself, for women and men, with no pickup lines and no games.
- How to Deal With a Difficult Boss (and Keep Your Spine)A five-step way to work with a boss who is hard to read or hard to please: understand their style, name the real issue and ask for what you need.
- How to Stay Calm When Attacked in a MeetingA boss or colleague cuts you down in front of others. What to do in the first ten seconds, in the rest of the meeting, and afterwards.
- Difficult Conversations Review: Does the Method Work?Our review of Difficult Conversations: the three layers of a hard talk, the Third Story opening, where the evidence is thin, and how to use it at work.
- Fouquet and the King: What Happens When You Outshine the BossIn 1661 Nicolas Fouquet threw a dazzling party for Louis XIV and was arrested soon after. What it teaches an employee who outshines a boss.
- How to Find Your Blind Spots at Work (and Fix the One That Matters)Most successful people cannot see how they come across. A five-step way to ask for the truth, hear it without a fight and change one habit.
- How to Make a Strong First Impression at WorkPeople judge you in seconds and rarely revise. Five honest steps to start well in a new job, meeting or interview, for women and men, with no faking.
- How to Say No Without Losing Respect (Scripts That Work)A clear, polite no earns more respect than a vague yes. Five steps, short scripts for work and home, and the cases where a no costs too much.
- How to Spot Manipulation: 12 Tactics and Calm AnswersThe common manipulation tactics at work and at home, how to spot each one, and a calm line you can say back. Defence only, no tricks.
- In Sheep's Clothing Review: Does Simon's Model Hold Up?Our review of George K. Simon's In Sheep's Clothing: what it teaches about covert aggression, where it is too simple, and how to use it safely.
- King, Warrior, Magician, Lover Review: Useful Mirror, Weak ProofOur review of Moore and Gillette's King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: the four mature energies, what holds up, where the proof stops, and how women can use it too.
- Power at Work: How to Get Respect, Status and InfluenceA plain guide to real power at work: how people judge you, how to show strength with warmth, stay calm, and move things without a fight.